Fiction


The Panda – Iconic, Ionic and (somewhat) Ironic flickr photo by Ken and Nyetta shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license I felt like engaging in some “blogging archaeology” earlier today, and found some real gems. Rounded up some political/non-political fiction for your perusal. Let me know what you think! A Wasteland President, Part 1 (It’s actually part of a much larger saga that I never ended up finishing. It’s about President Trump waking up in post-apocalyptic Florida. Teams up with the Obamas). 5:31am, Part 1 (This one is a real blast from the past, has over a dozen installments. Well […]

Blogging Archaeology



The beloved bat looked forlornly at the wall made up of crushed gallons of milk. His sidekick was looking at the wall too, squinting at the harsh sunlight. “When do you think it will end, Batman?” “The madness, you mean?” “No, I meant the sunlight,” his sidekick said. The beloved bat looked at his sidekick, who was gangly-looking and wearing bright red lipstick. “I don’t suppose you’d consider changing colors? You might look less garish.” The Prince of Green looked at the bat. “Red wards off the run. And besides, it complements my hair.” “I can’t argue with royalty,” the […]

Adam West Fiction “One Final Labyrinth”



Trump was seriously worried about the state of the world. It was sea of stumps dominating a few tall buildings. But even the “alpha” structures were diminished. In the world he knew, the tallest buildings knocked the sun out of the way to make room for their steel shoulders, made right here in the U.S.A. “You doin alright back there, Donald?” Barack asked “I’m doing just fine. Reflection on the situation,” Trump replied, sitting back and letting the lushness of the car seat envelope him. He wondered what class of Mercedes this was, and why he hadn’t been aware of […]

A Wasteland President, Part 11


Trump sat back and enjoyed the ride, as he was ordered to do. He didn’t mind being scolded or ordered around, as long as the advice was intelligent and helped him construct a better future. He couldn’t help but notice how “lean” the buildings looked. They were smaller and shorter than the grand offerings he remembered. There weren’t any trees, either. All he could see were stumps. He grunted. “You okay back there, Donald?” Michelle asked. “I-” “Look, there’s at least one bottle near your feet. Do what you gotta do.” “Nah. I’m fine. Just thinking, is all.” “Okay,” Obama […]

A Wasteland President, Part 10


“Today did an excellent job. But what about tomorrow?” “Tomorrow is cancelled, sir.” “Cancelled? What do you mean cancelled?” “It’s just gone, sir.” “Well, what do you we do now? There’s nothing down here. No enemies, no friends. Nothin’. Just us.” “Just us, sir.” “…Just us. Hmm. Do you think anyone is alive up there? Anyone worth talking to?” “Anyone left up there will be heavily irradiated. It’d be very depressing to watch, sir. They might even ask you for money.” “I can watch money burn. Why would I give it do them?” “Precisely, sir. And more to the point, […]

A Wasteland President, Part 1



Trump was getting choked so hard he couldn’t see straight. Nothing made sense except the pulsating green fist assailing his air passages. Trump flailed and spat, but to no avail. The only thing that saved him was the sound of one of the cow-faced cats scurrying in a corner near the entrance. “Huh?” the thing said, looking completely terrified. It dropped Donald on his bum, fleeing into the shadows with preternatural speed. “Damn. That thing sure was ugly. At least it’s gone now.” So, the Bannon orcs were terrified of this new breed of cat. Interesting. Donald approached the counter, […]

A Wasteland President, Part 9


I have this post-apocalyptic setting almost all figured out. Trump (the main character) doesn’t get off that easily via my own laziness and poor motivational skills. He’s gonna have to deal with this post-apocalypse one way or another. Last we saw him, he was being pulled through a Shocko Bell drive-thru window (because in fiction, you always have to end on a cliffhanger). So stay tuned. Anything could happen.  

More “A Wasteland President” after a short break


Trump woke up again for the second time that night, this time prodded by a rough stretch of cat tongue. Once his eyes were fully opened he “ahhh’d!” out of the chair, startled by the mean-spirited cow face which was the source of the tongue. Michelle stirred, but Barack slept on, and Trump sighed.  This night had been magical but a little terrifying. It would be nice to get a little alone time. Maybe he would prowl the streets just to see how civilization turned out in his absence. A hundred years without him. Must’ve been pretty devastating. Before he […]

A Wasteland President, Part 8



“What’s this all about?” Trump asked, looking a little concerned. “Donald, you have to understand that things are more complex than what’s on the surface.” “I understand jobs. I understand healthcare.” “I’m sure you do.” “For god sake’s Barack, just tell him!” “Bannon was just playing you, Donald. He’s not your friend. He’s the hand twisting you the wrench, turning the nut of the American people.” “You’re the wrench, Donald.” “Yeah. I think I got it.” Trump’s face drooped like he was just stabbed by a dagger. “No, no, I don’t believe it! Why would he do it? Why would he […]

A Wasteland President, Part 6


A Wasteland President, Part 5 Everything was dark and choked with dust. Donald couldn’t feel where his elbow ended and his tweeting finger began. He groped frantically through the cloud of dust and grabbed something soft. It was a hand. “Easy there, Donald.” Donald grunted and had to be pulled to his feet. When the dust cleared, he recognized the face of Michelle Obama. “Michelle! Lovely to see you again, that’s a tasteful broach.” “I’m not wearing a broach.” “Oh.” An intense silence followed, magnified by the Secret Service agents surrounding her. “Are you alright, Donald?” “Yeah. Just wondering why […]

A Wasteland President, Part 5


“One hundred years?!” Trump repeated himself, fiddling in his pocket for a handkerchief to soak up his forehead sweat. “Looking for your cellphone?” Trump nodded, looking so wronged and so young. “Good news is I have your cellphone!” Trump’s eyes twinkled. “Bad news is it’s practically worthless! AzureStar no longer has employees.” Trump lurched forward. “I’ll talk to ’em. I’ll talk to the CEO.  We’ll create jobs and get out of this mess!” “No one cares about jobs, anymore, Donald. Look around you!” Donald looked around him. One of the orcs was giving him the fish eye. “Could use better […]

A Wasteland President, Part 4



Trump was escorted from the ruins of Mar-a-Lago by a rough-handed orc. The beast reminded him of someone, but he couldn’t quite place it. All he knew was that he wanted to ask it questions, to ask it advice. It was far more attuned to this world than he was, seeing as how the world seemed so different from the one he had known less than three hours ago. “You’ll take me to your leader?” he asked the orc. “Wait, what am I saying? I am your leader.” The orc merely grunted, pulling Trump’s arm so that what was attached […]

A Wasteland President, Part 3



With the heat from the dead Secret Service agent nearly spent, Trump wondered what would come next. He was all alone finally. No one to distract him from what was really important. “I’ll just wait for someone to come along. Yep. That’s the plan.” “But nothing came along” ” Wait, did I say that out loud? Maybe if I talk loudly enough, someone will come. They always do. They have to.” Something that sounded like a car engine came closer.  One wall came crashing down, chunks of debris being unceremoniously flung to forgotten corners. “Are you Trump?” an orcish voice […]

A Wasteland President, Part 2





Dayton arrived at the gas station twenty minutes later. The night couldn’t encroach on the lights, but it was waiting for them to die out, to rip existence apart and swallow the tatters. Or so his little green friends were trying to tell him. But the gas station was calling his name, and the demented green rabbits wearing little top hats looked at him strangely. Harry would be able to help him out. The man always came through, in some form or the other. “I was going to sell these pills to a minor. Good thing you showed up,” Harry said. […]

The Moon Speaks, I Listen (Part 2)



The night was smothering and warm, and Dayton Blake didn’t know quite what to do with it. He was sitting on a faded, sunken in lawn chair in a parking lot of an abandoned retail store across from his home. Dayton needed some down time, away from the familiar and stale, but he didn’t trust most people in this town. They were all bored little shitheads that spent any excess cash on bingbangboom.com, a gambling website. Not that Dayton didn’t do the same, but he liked to diversify his portfolio every now and then. So he watched his home with […]

The Moon Speaks, I Listen (Part 1)



Sometimes you just want to write something, fiction or whatever, and you don’t want to be hemmed in by the conventions of the genre. I’ve always wanted to do horror, but in a more surreal kind of way, maybe vaguely depressing except for the bizarre ending that gives you a twisted kind of hope. Or urban fantasy without all that pesky romance. Both of these things seem outlandish.

To be a free lil’ bird




The tin can man had been duped Watches, pearls, cashmere scarves This was it This was the jackpot That would become a golden stepping stone He could ensure the security of his family forever But did he need them anymore? They were a convenient mythology during the act itself Now they were faded sources of vague irritation This salesman could be free Maybe he would toss them a scarf or two Even a watch Generosity could expand the heart across oceans No need for letters They would know he cared Maybe tin can man would receive a letter After all, […]

Post Robbery Bliss


The living room felt electrical and hazy. An old woman was standing in front of the sink, washing a chicken with comet and giving her horrible looks. The woman was pale, with the red cross symbol tattooed on her forehead. She couldn’t look away from the old woman, thinking that the chicken cleaner was a malicious force. It didn’t help that the sound of a tire being stripped clean was playing over and over again in the background like a broken record. This couldn’t be real. But the woman came closer, and she realized that the woman wasn’t malicious, but […]

Everything Changed, Part 4



“Yes, ma’am!” Zeke said, saluting Mrs. B after squirting more soap into the sudsy dish pile. Everything was humming like clockwork on that magical Sunday afternoon. Tommy tried to hide his happiness from the group. Lamarr was keeping herself occupied with a set of blocks, gurgling strangely but still content. Dad hid behind his exquisite wooden sculptures. He was enjoying a bout of confidence because a very affluent person had purchased an angel statue after receiving a splinter. The buyer said “it was a sign.” Apparently, his dad had two very influential fans. One heavenly, the other, a desperate mortal. […]

5:31am, part 15



The employee was getting colder Coldness giving way to numbness There seemed to be only one way out Jiggling t-t-the k-keys Maybe the noise created Would attract a savior Minutes went by Then another minute They kept getting longer Jiggling seemed futile But those muscles couldn’t do anything else Even the aforementioned jiggling was becoming too much The door opened, thank god Employee #4 fainted onto his face The company package didn’t pay for reconstructive surgery via Daily Prompt: Jiggle

Jiggling is the only way



She wandered closer to the cluster of vehicles. Claw marks had tainted their once cheery exteriors. But what was their use in the past world? She wanted to say transport, but wasn’t sure. The word sounded alien and her tongue felt heavy as she prepared to speak it. The moaning from somewhere behind the vehicles forced her tongue to remain inactive. These things were vicious when roused, and she had to be careful. Vicious and tenacious. One had followed her for four days once. She just didn’t have the strength to kill it. Something else presumably did. But now there […]

Everything Changed, Part 3


A semi dropped the man off He held his sports hat between his hands Which were held in anxious repose across his abdomen He didn’t want to enter Patty’s diner But in a way the prospect thrilled him He had lost touch with the throbbing heart of the center states There was no choice but to go inside that dimly lit place To interact with people To see that they hadn’t changed much, but he had The cold was stinging his face and whipping his hands “I’ll just go inside for a bit,” he said to himself. One of the […]

He brought the cold with him


The grocery store still squatted. But the shadows seemed slower, which told her that night was on its way. She thought to herself that she was telling time more efficiently, using the cues the world gave her rather than that device with hands that now seemed unpredictable and chaotic. She always avoided them. They made people age, albeit slowly, and they eventually ended up as moaning husks. She wondered how long it would be until she turned into one, but avoiding their damning gazes would help slow the sprouting of grey hairs and rotting skin. Her stomach rumbled in hunger. […]

Everything Changed, Part 2



She was standing on the pavement, vermin fleeing as she toyed with her wooden bat. It was quiet, but that wasn’t a good or a bad thing. Nope. Quiet just existed, only to be reinterpreted in moments of reflection on that never-ending lonely road. A gutted store squatted up ahead, but she didn’t look away at the shadows or the hurtful things they were doing. Things were being eaten in there. Or maimed. Or something violent was happening to them. The prospect of groceries inside made her mouth moist, but the thought of syringes dried it up again. The vaccine […]

Everything changed


Everyone was talking about the hottest new metal band at lunch, called Pinkie Nail Throat Scrape. Apparently, it was the greatest swell of concentrated darkness since Tommy’s favorite band, Death&Carnage, had releases their last album. As Tommy handed his dirty tray to the nondescript lunch lady, he experienced a whiff of nostalgia. Death&Carnage had gotten him through a lot of difficult times, and would probably help him through many more. But maybe he would give PNTS a chance when things became stale with the old gods. Tommy waved goodbye to Kevin and the gang. They were his “lunch friends” and […]

5:31am, part 3