Trump was seriously worried about the state of the world. It was sea of stumps dominating a few tall buildings. But even the “alpha” structures were diminished. In the world he knew, the tallest buildings knocked the sun out of the way to make room for their steel shoulders, made right here in the U.S.A. “You doin alright back there, Donald?” Barack asked “I’m doing just fine. Reflection on the situation,” Trump replied, sitting back and letting the lushness of the car seat envelope him. He wondered what class of Mercedes this was, and why he hadn’t been aware of […]

A Wasteland President, Part 11

“Today did an excellent job. But what about tomorrow?” “Tomorrow is cancelled, sir.” “Cancelled? What do you mean cancelled?” “It’s just gone, sir.” “Well, what do you we do now? There’s nothing down here. No enemies, no friends. Nothin’. Just us.” “Just us, sir.” “…Just us. Hmm. Do you think anyone is alive up there? Anyone worth talking to?” “Anyone left up there will be heavily irradiated. It’d be very depressing to watch, sir. They might even ask you for money.” “I can watch money burn. Why would I give it do them?” “Precisely, sir. And more to the point, […]

A Wasteland President, Part 1

Trump was getting choked so hard he couldn’t see straight. Nothing made sense except the pulsating green fist assailing his air passages. Trump flailed and spat, but to no avail. The only thing that saved him was the sound of one of the cow-faced cats scurrying in a corner near the entrance. “Huh?” the thing said, looking completely terrified. It dropped Donald on his bum, fleeing into the shadows with preternatural speed. “Damn. That thing sure was ugly. At least it’s gone now.” So, the Bannon orcs were terrified of this new breed of cat. Interesting. Donald approached the counter, […]

A Wasteland President, Part 9

Trump woke to a sweet Florida night, with crickets chirping and alligators lurking. The trunk opened softly, revealing Michelle’s noncommittal face. “Let’s start over, Donald.” “A fresh start? I’d like that,” Trump said, lifting himself clumsily out of the car and dusting himself off. He gave Michelle an even glare. “Careful,” Barack said, getting closer to the two. “I can handle a feeble old man,” Michelle commented. “Unless he has a stun gun or something.” “I was just sizing her up, that’s all. I respect how cool-headed she is in a conflict.” Trump handed her what looked like a small […]

A Wasteland President, Part 7